The Meaning of Food Cravings And The Underlying Emotional Needs

A great question to ask yourself regarding emotional food cravings is: “What experience am I looking for?”  Following is a guide for answering this question by looking at your emotional needs.  Note that everyone is different - it is very important to look at your own unique circumstances and look at the meaning of food cravings.

Reasons for Craving and the Underlying Need

1) Comfort

• To feel safe
• To be taken care of (e.g., early childhood eating)
• To avoid scary time of day (e.g., nighttime)

2) Love

• To feel loved
• To feel accepted
• To feel like you belong to something
• To make up for nonresponsive parent or own self-judgment

3) Distraction

• To escape looking at problems
• To get away from mental chatter
• To avoid responsibility

4) Boredom

• To fill a void in your life
• To make up for lack of intimacy

5) Control

• To elude feelings of powerlessness
• To avoid feeling and/or expressing anger
• To rebel against overbearing parent

Working with Emotions

It’s really useful to understand the emotions behind your eating patterns.  This awareness helps you to pinpoint areas to heal and opens a space to experience greater compassion for why you crave a particular food.  Below are useful strategies that you can use to deal with strong cravings and emotional eating:

Stop and notice what’s going on.  First and foremost, take a break when you notice a craving coming on.  Take a few deep breaths.  Become aware of what emotional need is driving that craving - you can close your eyes and just be in silence, or perhaps writing or speaking out loud work best for you.  Awareness is 90% toward changing behavior!

Accept and claim the emotions you’re feeling.  Rather than trying to change what you’re feeling or wanting, check out the experience of honoring what you’re feeling.  This is a profound initial step in changing any behavior - accept and love what is.

Do some free-form writing.  Free-form writing is a wonderful way of just getting emotions out, rather than by diverting this expression with food.  The idea is that you write and write and write without worrying about grammar, spelling, etc.  When you’re done, don’t read it over again.  Just rip it up and burn it (or flush it down the toilet).

Talk to the part that needs.  Instead of filling your need with food, how about talking to that part that wants the food and see how you can help?  This may sound strange, yet it is so effective!  Once you ask that part what it needs, just become that part and say whatever comes up!  Talk in the first person.

For example, if I want chocolate, I may stop and say, “OK I want to talk to that part of me who wants chocolate.  How can I help you?”  I may switch into another chair and become the part that wants chocolate and say, “I hate feeling stupid in crowds, why do you make me go to these stupid social things?”  and so on…..

Make a list of supportive activities.  If you know that you tend to do emotional eating for comfort and for love, make a list of alternative activities that can support you when you’re feeling the craving.  Keep the list on you, and try them!  As a first step, you can try something and say to yourself that if you still want the specific food, you’ll eat it afterward.

Practice self-forgiveness.  When we have an emotional need that’s not being filled, most likely we have some judgment about that.  How about forgiving yourself for any judgments that you place against your emotional need?  This can bring in such healing.  Use the phrase “I forgive myself for judging myself for……” or “I forgive myself for judging myself as…..”

For example, if I judge myself for eating ice cream for comfort and as weak for doing so, I might try a few forgivenesses - I forgive myself for judging myself for wanting the comfort of eating ice cream last night.  I forgive myself for judging myself as weak for eating ice cream and needing comfort.

It’s important to explore beneath the surface to uncover the meaning of food cravings and to work with the emotions to address the unfulfilled needs.

About the Author: Debbie Roth is a Holistic Health Counselor and Director of Nutrition Within LLC. In her practice, she works with runners and other athletes to maximize their performance and overall energy levels. Debbie is an avid half-marathoner, and she runs and practices in Santa Monica. You can reach Debbie at 424-645-4199 or at info@nutritionwithin.com, or check out her website at www.nutritionwithin.com.

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