Relationships - How Well Do You Relate?

One key to healthier relationships (there are a lot more, check my site for more!).

Relationships can be the most profound or most mundane experience. Relationship with another can be a place to suffer and blame, or to thrive and grow.

It all comes down to choice.

Read on if you have the courage and curiosity to live life more fully and effectively.

The relationship you have with anyone else out there (whether with a lover, friend, family member, neighbour, co-worker, boss, client, employee, child, parent, etc.) will always have an aspect (at least one!) that reflects you back to you. The choice is what you do with this.

What does that mean?

It means everyone else is a mirror to us, as we are to everyone else. So when you get upset because someone does or says something, or doesn’t do or say something, you have an opportunity to either grow from it, or stay in the upset and be a victim of the circumstance. I highly recommend doing the work to grow, as the victimized life sucks big time, and is the automatic, yes automatic, cost of letting others upset you.

You don’t like that? I know of some nice caves out in New Mexico where you can hide out and avoid life.

For those who would rather live in the world, and not hide out, here’s where the rubber meets the road.

When you get upset by another’s action or inaction, you can ask yourself some questions:

“What is about this person and their action that upsets me?” Answer this without making them wrong!

“What is it about me that I am getting upset about?” A more inward focused question that can reap richer rewards. If you can sit with this question, and let the mind calm down (breathing helps), you may find that this incident is a reminder of something that happened a long time ago in your own life.

“Who does this person remind me of?” Another angle that can reveal the gift this person is giving you. Unearthing an old memory of another person can release stuffed energy, and provide an avenue for healing.

“What memory does this situation remind me of?” This question is focused more on the event, not on the person, and may be a more effective excavation method.

This and more questions can facilitate healing and transformation of your life for the better.

These answers are a powerful route to healing and ultimately to resolve this inner trigger, so when faced with the same situation, you will no longer react in upset. You will not be disempowered, nor will you be a victim. Instead you will be empowered and have a much larger capacity to live fully. Congratulations.

If you desire to learn how to stop being the victim, and how to take mastery of your own life, so you have more peace, more joy, and healthier relationships, we need to talk! Visit my site (http://www.barryselby.com), and register for my newsletter, and get informed of my next seminar. I am working with individuals and groups to assist them in having healthier and ultimately amazing relationships.

If, however, you would rather live a reactionary existence, being a pinball among the emotional flippers and bumpers of life, then go right ahead, enjoy yourself!

More later.

PB&J
Barry.

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